《當你係非auditor,但唔小心同做audit 嘅女朋友拍拖?》
你會發現她工作的時間比見你的時間多,你由開頭會質疑她為何星一至星日都要返工,質疑究竟戴了綠帽沒有,到埋怨她無時間陪你。如果還未分手的,最後應該被逼接受即使她大時大節都沒法陪你這個悲慘事實。
剛拍拖:
熱戀中的情侶總想整天黏在一起,好像攬抱少一分一秒都有所損失,正當你自以為好浪漫攬抱着她時,她突然收到manager WhatsApp,要她立即處理一件事,她鬆開你的抱抱,立即趕返屋企處理。即使她說了多少句對不起,但你發覺她竟然忘記了今日是拍拖一個月的慶祝,她忘記了你book 酒店buffet 慶祝,而你訂的玫瑰亦沒有送出。你自己不斷反問自己,有什麼急事非得要今日(星期六)去處理,你不明白,亦不理解!「每一次你都要我諒解你,咁邊個諒解我」,但這句說話你無說出口,因為你們是熱戀中,所以你說了最假的說話:「book 左枱我咪cancel 佢,下次再食過啦,你做左嘢先啦!」
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埋怨中:
當你拍拖過了三個月的熱戀期,爭吵開始不斷。你們約好了的郊遊,約好了的看電影,約好了的旅行,大多數都無法實行。如果以陪伴的多少來介定愛你的程度,你開始懷疑她愛你幾多。星期日她還要開OT時,你只可以去她公司樓下陪她食飯,其實你很厭倦這樣的生活。
你:「其實你可唔可以有日唔好OT,可唔可以陪下我?我拍拖拍到好似單身咁。」
她: 「咁我真係好忙,等我今期忙完,我地一齊去旅行啦,好唔好。」
你:「你繼續吹啦!你上次先講完同我去旅行,我book 晒機票,但你又突然有job,要我cancel 晒啲ticket。你有無理過我點諗!」
她:「咁果時我忙緊個M&A project,而且booking 係無得reject ga,咁我要返工架,係咪你養我!」
你:「咁姐係工作緊要啲啦!」
她:「咁你同得一個auditor 拍拖,你一早就知,點解你仲要唔諒解我⋯⋯」
你聽她這樣說,你無言,但只要看一看她WhatsApp,你見到一個叫Anson senior 常WhatsApp 她,鼓勵她,有時你見到有心心emoji,你看到的一切,但你什麼也沒有說。你開始分不清,她是很忙,沒有時間陪你,還是她要陪他人,所以無時間陪你。
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拍拖耐了,你發覺她男仔性格多於女仔性格,你發覺她可以好獨立,你發覺其實她不需要你。即使去旅行,出開job 的她,總可以將小至找路,大至book hotel and ticket,打點得很好。
你發覺她不像熱戀中温柔,有時她要你做一件小事,就像她order 她associate 做嘢一樣,但其實你很喜歡她温柔的一面,但她總是不懂以柔克剛。
你發覺她工作的時候可以好認真好認真,有時還聽到她零聲的爆粗,還見到她無限的西面。
你發覺她跟你說工作的是非,或細節,其實你都不怎了解,你亦不懂可以怎樣回答,你只可以說;「其實各個行業都有佢地嘅問題,你唔洗咁大驚小怪。」,但她總是說;「audit 嘅情況係worse d」。有時你覺得跟她溝涌不了。
你發覺她好mean,有時一件小事處理不好,她會問:「點解會錯架,唔suppose 會錯喎!」,但她不明白,不是每一件事都可以做到100%,有錯,有什麼出奇!
你發覺她好奇怪,她常常跟你說:「materiality level, threshold?」。有時她會說:「呢樣嘢都唔過threshold,無事嘅!」。其實你不了解她說什麼!
你發覺她常常都會將個wok字掛在嘴邊,「我好wok,點解呢隻job 會咁wok?」,到你關心她表示如果你覺得辛苦,就轉工,但她只會說:「做多陣先啦!」。之後,過多一個星期,你又會聽到她埋怨好wok,你唔明點解要這樣無限輪迴,有意思嗎?
你發覺她處理事情總是很急,好像什麼都急著要,完完全全不懂慢活的道理。
你發覺她將工作帶到日常,甚至帶到你們的關係,每一件事她都要攞supporting。你話:「我愛你」,她懷疑說「我唔信呀,除非你俾到supporting 我睇!」,你心諗,愛你都有supporting,一定是假做架!有時,你真是不明白她做緊什麼!
你發覺她總是很理性,有時理性得可怕,在她字典入面,好像只有value 這個字眼,你聽得最多的是,她:「我覺得呢件事無value 囉,都唔知點解要做!」她好像不明白不是事事都有value,而且,value 可以是心靈的value,不是每一個value 都可以用間尺去量度。
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被逼接受:
如果拍拖但過着單身的生活的你們還沒有分手,你已經被逼接受了這無奈的生活。好吧?她沒空陪你,你就打下機,有時約朋友出來吹下水; 有時你瞓覺時,她還未放工,就WhatsApp 她講goodnight。一個星期即使多忙,也到她公司樓下陪她食lunch。就這樣,過着過着!
你知道嗎?如果你可以忍受一個做audit 的女友,可以忍受她無時間陪你,可以忍受她有時因為工作很忙而發你脾氣,真愛嚟架!
做auditor 時間愈長,個人就愈mean,愈脾氣壞,愈包容不了像沙粒一樣的小錯,因為auditor 本身就是鍾意執字粒,將小錯化到無限大,但即使你是這樣,你男友還是包容着你呀⋯⋯
Auditor 的女友,請珍惜總是包容着你的非auditor 男友。包容真的很難,很難⋯⋯當你在日夜顛倒工作時,他在等你; 當你說一堆auditor 術語時,他即使不堪了解,但還是努力聆聽着;當你在發脾氣時,他總是不發一言,不是你說得多有道理,他不作聲只因為他愛你,不想傷害這段關係⋯⋯
包容真係好難⋯⋯
PS: 開咗新IG lol, 忙嘅時候,打幾隻字就可以upload 上去,好懶lol 成隻蛋黃哥咁😂
hahahha 得閒就支持下lol 😘
IG: fakemanching1607
audit 轉工 在 倫敦人妻先生手記 Facebook 的最佳貼文
今日唔婊人,我地講下正經野:工作。
其實我在英國打左唔係好多工,而好好彩亦都唔駛見好多份工就搞掂左。睇返之前啲文,有讀者問見博物館同拍賣行的工會問咩問題,我也可以在這裡分享一下。
在英國,我見了五、六份經理級別的工作,除了一開始的自我介紹外,感覺上他們比較喜歡問「為什麼」,例如為什麼會來英國工作、為什麼會轉工作、為什麼會選我們而不是其他博物館、為什麼會想當marketing之類的。此外,也喜歡問「什麼」,例如你過去在各公司裡做什麼、你有遇過什麼困難之類的大路問題,也很是常見,只要小心準備,多對鏡子練習,是絕對可以輕鬆過關的。
而有些機構為了試你的功夫,還喜歡問「怎樣」,例如你認為我們的推廣可以怎樣改善、你會怎樣去量度一個推廣的成效、面對兩難局面時你會怎樣處理等等。基本上第一條問題是必問的,而往往呢條問題都係我反擊的時間,我會拎部ipad出黎,打開一份已經做好的social media audit report,詳細地告訴他們在各個社交媒體上的表現,並提供解決方案(紙媒透明度低,不適合局外人分析)。通常做完呢個5-8分鐘的演講後,對方已經唔會再質疑我的基本功,有助省卻接下來更多的無聊情境題。
基本上,一次正常見工發言的比例應該維持在7:3或6:4之間,你在推銷自己的同時,對方都要向你推銷自己公司,不應只是你一面倒說話的。只有細公司先會覺得自己係全世界最威,俾機會對方見工係皇恩浩蕩,坐井觀天地認為我肯請你真係你執到。但我見的呢幾間都係行內的龍頭,大家去到呢個層面,會明白好嘅人才係難搵,而最好的人才永遠係皇帝女唔憂嫁,畢竟龍頭都唔只得你一家,而且博物館的marketing manager年薪其實不高,大概都是在28至35萬港元之間,扣稅後更是所剩無幾,比起其他行業係低左1-2成,你仲要初四咁樣多多刁難對方,肯定留不住人的。
至於會唔會問你對於藝術的認識,基本上除了拍賣行會問這條問題外,其餘幾間博物館都不會問這個的,畢竟由於薪金低過市價,你黎得見工應該都係對藝術有興趣,人工代表我的心啦。
撫心自問,在香港、在英國多次見工,也很幸運地沒有遇過大家網上所說的奇怪面試官,或是諸多阻攔的HR,但我深信賤人係無分國界,英國都一樣會有壞公司,你唯一可以做的,是努力增值自己。只要你有實力,你的拳頭夠硬,大部份公司都會禮賢下士,而你也會有更多更好的選擇,不需要為份工而受氣。
最後,附圖係國家美術館隨面試邀請函寄來的車馬費津貼表格,要是你來面試的車馬費多於25鎊就可以申請。老實說其實挺窩心的,縱使我用不著這個津貼,但還是會覺得這個機構不會佔求職者便宜,是一家好公司。而值得一提的是,他們是唯一一家會問你對於工作環境多元的看法。保障員工能在不受性別、性向、種族及信仰等歧視的環境裡工作,早就在面試時做起了。
#見工同溝仔一樣都係唔需要出賣尊嚴
#真正嘅荀工係唔會虐待應徵者
#倫敦跳槽密一點也是正常的
#你解釋到就可以了
#大把人做幾年散工同幾星期合約工都係咁
#仲有好多半日工同home_office工
#唔係香港咁要你工接工先正常
#其實香港先唔正常
#當然唔排除部份超級荀工真係會虐待應徵者
#如果你Chris_Evans咁款我俾你虐待又何妨
#真係一樣道理架
audit 轉工 在 玳瑚師父 Master Dai Hu Facebook 的最佳解答
《光明之心旺渡猴年》
To A Fortuitous Year of The Monkey (English version below)
很多很多的人,都對自己的命運,或來年的運程抱著一種「先睹為快」的心理。吾,玳瑚師父認為,這是可以理解的。問題是在於,妳你知道了妳你的命運,或來年的運程後,妳你可曉得,如何趨吉避凶、扭轉乾坤、反敗為勝嗎?又或者增旺自己的運勢,使之好上加好呢?還是「先睹為快」後,淒淒慘慘,慘慘淒淒呢?若然是這樣的話,妳你就得歸類迷信者了哦!
生肖屬猴、虎、豬、蛇者,請向妳你自己的師父(若有的話),請示要如何安奉當年太歲星君,以保流年身心、身體健康、事業順心、家庭合樂、道心堅固、智慧增長、投資安穩、大事化小、小事化無等等。一般人都不會及較少,在家中安奉當年太歲星君。因此,可到有供奉六十位太歲星君的廟宇拜太歲及點光明燈。禮拜太歲星君時,除了獻上供品、蠟燭紙金以外,千萬要記得虔心稱呼,值年的太歲星君啊!歲次丙申太歲星君叫管仲,在拜太歲時,妳你就虔心稱呼祂為「丙申年管仲太歲星君」,這樣妳你才真真正正,拜到那一位值年的太歲星君。
接下來就讓玳瑚師父,為妳你們「紙上談運」吧!生肖屬猴的妳你,在這猴年裡,凡事要加以忍耐、忍讓,退一步才可以海闊天空,且莫食喪家之物、送葬出殯宜避之、夜間場所勿流連、對於年邁的長者或親屬,應多加關懷與關注,她他們的身、心發展,以免真的給玳瑚師父「說中了」,妳你也不必對著她他們唱: 我是不是妳你最疼愛的人,妳你為什麼不說話?哈....! 若妳你正打算「東家不打,打西家」的話,吾勸妳你待明年再說吧!喜歡投資的妳你,則要小心陰溝裡翻船哦!今年應該不圖非份,「萬事如意」才可能在妳你身上應驗。
生肖屬虎的妳你,請勿暴飲暴食哦!不食喪家之物,也勿「自告奮勇」的奔喪,以免累己累人。今年家中乃「多事之秋」,心情忐忑不安、情緒波動,再所難免。但,還是要把家中長者照顧好,或許可免喪神入屋。今年亦是妳你忙碌的一年,轉工、搬家、旅遊,流年中必應驗,要不然就應驗在跌倒哦!請多加注意足下的「工具」,是否是良好的「狀況」。一切宜守不宜攻。
生肖屬豬的妳你,在六親眷屬的關係方面,應多加關注,敢敢做個有愛心的人,自然就能歡度此猴年了。工作、事業與投資,應按部就班地進行,風險自然化小。婚姻及感情生活,祗要不要執著一個「我」字,也就會融洽了。
至於生肖屬蛇的妳你,身邊的親人、愛人、朋友等等,有可能會「突然間不見掉」。真心誠意的對待與珍惜,是唯一的安撫靈藥。再加上「不在乎天長地久,祗在乎曾經擁有」這句「名言」,那就更能夠釋懷了。
其實犯太歲,並不祗是人而已。妳你的宅地的坐山及向首,妳你的公司,妳你的辦工桌,妳你家中的書桌、床位,每個隔間,都可能是在太歲的位置上,因此也就犯了太歲。無論是老、中、少或幼(嬰孩),犯之意外連連,生病破財是小事,不慎連命也陪了,對一般人而言,就非小事了。不妨禮請一位妳你信得過的師父,為妳你及家人,規劃妳你居家的風水,擁抱妳你生命中美好的每一天,根本無需提心吊膽、戰戰兢兢地過日子。若妳你從來都沒找過任何師父勘察妳你居家的風水,那就在今年吧!給妳你及家人,生命中最大的禮物,而且是最愛的禮物,來個「水濂洞中勝樂大,花果山上年年好」。猴塞磊(廣東話),哈....!快樂得不得了。
吾,玳瑚師父,在此溫馨提醒哦!在立春來臨前,就好去拜太歲了哦!可別等或拖到清明,或農曆七月才去拜哦!因為這兩個節日,是讓人們上山掃墓祭祖,及拜俗稱的「好兄弟」的哦!若立春妳你所謂的錯過了,可請妳你信得過的師父,依妳你的生辰四柱,在農曆初一至十五日間,擇吉日良辰去拜太歲,那是很棒的拜太歲法之一。祝:大家「猴塞磊」哈....!
相信大家對「近水樓臺先得月」這句話,應該不會太陌生吧!如果妳你還是有些陌生的話,那「投其所好」,應該有聽聞過了吧!如果還是陌生的話,那看來妳你真的是....。丙申年管仲太歲星君,乃是位熱愛行善、佈施、教育、為善不落人後的神明。因此,妳你若要祂特別「注意」、「守護」、「關照」妳你的話,今年妳你就要比往年,更積極、更勤勞地行種種善,打個比方說;放生戒殺、助印、印施善書、開口勸善、捐錢建寺廟、撥款振災、關注及協助社會不幸的一群,等等。
天天做,天天增。增什麼?增福增慧、增資糧。當中也含蓋了改善命運的利益,天天不計較時間、不計較金錢、不計較體力、不計較工作量的多寡,持之以恆地做下去,很快的就會產生一種力量,無與倫比的力量,可改命可改運。反之,存有計較的心,那妳你所做的,就不能、也無法產生光明。沒有光明之心的「善行」,就不可能「投其所好」,妳你的心和太歲星君的心,始終扣不上,今年妳你諸多的願,就變成了天馬行空。什麼意思?泡湯了!
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There are countless number of people who cannot wait to take a "sneak preview" into their future. Master Dai Hu thinks that this mentality is not without reasons. The problem lies in this: after you have had a glimpse of what your destiny hold, or what would be your fortunes in this coming year, would you know how to usher in the good luck and evade the bad ones? Would you know how to turn a disastrous situation around and emerge as the eventual winner? Or would you be able to ride on the waves of good fortune for an even better outcome? Would it be the case that after you had known what lies ahead, that you fall into depression and self-pity? If this is true for you, then I would say you belong to the category of superstitious people!
For those of you born under the Chinese zodiac sign of the Monkey, Tiger, Pig and Snake, please seek advice from your Master, if you do have one, on how to seek blessings from the Grand Duke of Jupiter of the year to ensure well-being in your physical and emotional health, career, family and investments, faith in your spiritual cultivation, growth in wisdom, and that the magnitude of all disasters be minimized or reduced to none. Most people do not or rarely worships the Grand Duke of Jupiter at home. So you can visit temples that enshrine the 60 Dukes of Jupiter to pay your respect and make a light offering. When you are paying respect to the Duke of Jupiter, with the offerings, candles and joss papers, please remember to address Him with all your sincerity and faith. In the coming Lunar year of the Fire Monkey, the Grand Duke of Jupiter is addressed as "Guan Zhong". You should formally address Him as the "Grand Duke of Jupiter of the Fire Monkey Year, Guan Zhong". In this way, you can be sure that your prayer goes to the correct Grand Duke of Jupiter.
Now please allow Master Dai Hu to talk about your fortunes, on paper at least! If you are born under the Chinese zodiac sign of the Monkey, please exercise more tolerance in the coming year of the Monkey. Taking a step back will often lead to clear skies. Please do not consume any food from anyone with recently-deceased family members, and refrain from attending funerals and funeral processions. Stay away from places of leisure which operate in the night time.
For the elderly at home, please watch out and show concern for their health and mental well-being as Master Dai Hu does not want to be spot on with his words. I am sure you would not want to be singing, "Am I not the one you loved most? Why are you not talking to me?" Ha!
If you have any thought of changing employer, I would advise you to hold off the plan for another year. For those of you who love to invest, please exercise caution so as not to get caught out by unexpected situations! Do not go after wild ambitions this year so that you can have a smooth and fulfilling year ahead.
For those born under the Chinese zodiac sign of the Tiger, refrain from overeating! Do not consume food from anyone with recently-deceased family members, and avoid any misguided bravery in attending funerals. This will bring harm to yourself and others around you. Unavoidably, this year is going to be a season of troubled times, often with plenty of unease and emotional upheavals. However, please take extra care of the elderly at home to ward off any visit by the Angel of Death. This is a very hectic year for you with plenty of activities in your career moves, change of residences, as well as travels. If these things do not happen, the year's fortune will take on another appearance: you will risk suffering from falls! So please inspect your footwear to ensure they are in good condition! Every plan this year should be set to defensive mode, instead of invasive.
For those born under the Chinese zodiac sign of the Pig, please treat your relationships with your family and kin with extra care, and be bold to shower more love towards them, so that the Year of the Monkey will be a happy journey for you. As for your career and investment, do not deviate from your plans so as to minimize your risks. In your marriage and relationships, let go of the notion of "self", and all will be nice and harmonious.
As for those of you born under the Chinese zodiac sign of the Snake, your family relations, your lover and friends, etc, may "suddenly disappear" from your life. The only way to seek comfort from this is to treat them sincerely and cherish the affinities with them. Remember this famous saying, "It may not last forever, but at least you had the moments. " and you will come to a closure with it.
In actual fact, it is not only human beings that come into conflict with the Grand Duke of the Jupiter. Your residence, specifically its sitting and facing directions, your office premises, your work desk, your study desk at home, your bed, and every individual room can be in conflict with the Grand Duke of Jupiter. No matter your age, even if you are a baby, you will encounter accidents, illness, and loss of wealth if you are in conflict with the Grand Duke of Jupiter. But these are small matters. In more serious cases, your life may be in danger.
There is no harm to engage a Feng Shui Master whom you can trust to conduct a Feng Shui audit at your home, for the sake of your family and yourself. Embrace every beautiful day in your life. There is no need to live each day in trepidation and fear. If you have not engaged any Feng Shui master for your home before, make it this year! Let this be your perfect gift to yourself and your family, a gift of great significance and love, and create a haven of bliss and years of prosperity! Ha! How joyous that will be!
Master Dai Hu would like to sound out a gentle reminder: please pay your respect to the Grand Duke of Jupiter before Li Chun, the beginning of Spring. Do not wait until the Qing Ming Festival or the Lunar Seventh Month before you fulfill this important task. The Qing Ming Festival and the Lunar Seventh Month are meant for paying respects to our ancestors and the wandering spirits, commonly known as the "good brothers"! If you had missed the Li Chun date, you may request a Master you can trust to select an auspicious date and time, based on your birth chart, to pay your respect to the Grand Duke of Jupiter any time between the First Day and the Fifteenth Day of the First Lunar Month. This is an excellent way to pay your respect to the Grand Duke of Jupiter. I wish everybody an awesome Year of the Monkey!
The Grand Duke of Jupiter, Guan Zhong, for the Year of the Fire Monkey, is a God who is passionate about performing virtuous deeds, generous giving, education and always the first in line when it comes to kind deeds. Therefore, if you would like Him to take notice of you, to protect and take care of you, you should therefore be more enthusiastic and diligent than the years before to perform virtuous deeds. For examples, refrain from killing lives, liberate lives, sponsor the printing and distribution of virtuous books, speak to encourage virtuous behaviour, donate to build temples and towards disaster relief funds, show care and give assistance for the less fortunate, etc.
Consistent action on a daily basis yields consistent gains. What do you gain? Your merits, fortunes, wisdom and resources increase. In the midst of this lies the enormous benefit of altering your destiny for the better. Do not be calculative in your time, money, bodily effort, and volume of work. Press on day by day, consistently, and soon, you will witness the emergence of a powerful force that is unprecedented, one that can turn your life and fortune around! On the other hand, if you live with a calculative mindset, all that you have done will not invoke the radiant Light, without which your supposedly virtuous deeds can never be aligned with the Grand Duke of Jupiter. Ultimately, there is still a distance between your heart and His, and your many wishes and hopes for this year are just a figment of your imagination. What do I mean by that? I mean you can kiss your dreams goodbye!
www.masterdaihu.com/to-a-fortuitous-year-of-the-monkey/
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